Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
