Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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