we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
