Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize