Yo dont text me then not text me
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
