fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
