It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
