just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
It's not a walk of shame if you run
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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