why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
