Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
