I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
