Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
