so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
