i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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