just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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