Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
