Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
