The brown eye won't let me do that either.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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