peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
