it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
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