The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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