Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
