Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
