none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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