I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
