I don't think brook has ever known best
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
