The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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