i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I am midnight drunk by noon
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
