on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Everclear isn't food dammit
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
