what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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