let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
