No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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