there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
