What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
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