Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
