Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
