Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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