Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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