We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Randomize
