Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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