We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
