Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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