I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
