So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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