If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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