We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
a search helicopter?!
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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