So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
