I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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