I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
