My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
