Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
