I am in a vortex of obligation.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize