I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
