At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
